What does it take?

I’ve had cause to look at myself recently and ask just what does it take before I’ll pray about  something?

There’s a situation in my life over which I have no control. And I mean none. I have no influence and nowadays very little input. I can do nothing – I’m pretty much just a bystander. And it was only because I was that powerless that I turned to God in prayer for there was nothing else I could do. I came to understand that whilst I am feeble and weak and out of the picture, He is powerful and in control. Completely in control. I worry about this situation all the time – some would say too much but I can’t help it – and the only time  feel any sense of peace about it all is when I pray. I have to keep giving it back to God, keep believing that my petitions are making some difference, and trust that He is answering. So I pray. And then I pray again. And just when I think I’m fine the anxiety will build again, and I’ll pray some more. 

But why does it take this to get me to pray like that? Why do I only relinquish control when I have no choice? I know the answer: I’m a control freak. Always have been, probably always will be. I’m stubborn and independant and will do anything to succeed by my own strength. But as I learn more about God and He teaches me more about myself, I’m seeing that that just isn’t possible – my strength isn’t enough! I need His.

We all know that great verse in Philipian, 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God“. But what about the bits before and after: “The Lord is near . . . And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus“. The Lord is near and will grant us peace if only we’ll humble ourselves to pray.

So, I resolve to give Him the control – whether I could keep it for myself or not. And I’ll pray, and I’ll pray, and I’ll pray again; that I might know His peace.

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