Today is my last day on staff at church.
I know, I know, it was supposed to be last week but we postponed it a little so now it’s today.
People keep asking about “the year” and how it’s been and I keep failing to find words. How do you compress the best year of your life into a sentence that people will listen to and understand?
I don’t think I can even fully comprehend yet the influence this year has had on me. I think I’ll still be remembering in years to come things I learned in my kind-of-gap-year.
And that’s probably the one way I can describe this year and do it justice: a year of learning. Everyday, every situation, everything has been one gigantic learning curve.
Let me condense it though, into three things.
1) I learned to trust God
I wasn’t always as happy about this year as I am now. Infact, I spent the first 3 months getting angry at God and venting at Him and a few select others. I didn’t want to be here and I didn’t want to be doing this. Turns out God was right though, His plan was best – who would have guessed eh?! Also learned to trust more than ever that God always keeps His promises. There were a few things that I prayed for a lot and He answered, things I got myself in a bit of a state about but He was faithful and good and kept His word.
2) I learned to trust others
I was really, really rubbish at this. Now, I’m only a little bit rubbish at this. It’ll still take me a while before I’m willing and ready to pour my soul out to you but there is hope that one day I’ll get there. I think what I really learned about trusting others was trusting that they love me and that they love me for who I am and will continue to love me regardless of how I think/feel about myself. And “we love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19) – so I guess I can chalk that one up to God too.
3) I learned to trust myself
I learned to believe that I am capable. Not because of my own strength or talents but because God, in His mercy, has given me gifts and abilities, passions and dreams. I’ve done things I never would have thought possible, but then “God is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to do infinitely more than we might ask or even imagine” (Eph 3:20). I’ve overcome fears, let go of burdens, taken on responsibility, found strength I didn’t know I had. No, hold on, that was God again. Hmm . . .
So I guess it actaully come down to learning just how awesome God is and learning to trust Him more than ever, though I’m sure there’s a lot more of His awesomeness to be revealed and I definitely have a lot more to learn about trusting in Him.
There’s heaps more I learned too about Church politics and leadership, dealing with difficult or sensitive situations, planning small and large activities, preparing talks and working with kids/young people/adults . . . the list goes on.
There are a lot of people who have made this year possible – who have dragged me, guided me, helped me, prayed me through it. People who have made huge sacrifices on my behalf. People who taken massive risks with me. People who have never once sought recognition or reimbursement. They know who they are and I am eternally grateful – I’ll never be able to thank them enough. And if I can’t thank them, I’ll certainly never be able to thank God. Won’t stop me trying though 🙂